From seed to seedling this passion to adopt grows...
I am not sure where to begin in this story of ours that has led to the culmination of this mammoth decision to adopt. It is at basic a simple response to a seed planted long ago; the surge of a seedling in my heart that just recently burst. The seed was planted as I traveled seemingly long ago and helped serve and love children in orphanages across China, Uganda, and Mexico. However, I really hadn't thought much about these old dreams until recently.
You see Trav and I just had the luxury (thank you Sharla & Stacey!:) to sneak away from our 3 children to Kauai this past December. It was glorious! There were beach days, hike days... a lingering in the beauty of a magical jungle that I think might just be the most beautiful place on earth! Trav and I looked into each others eyes, hearts lightened by reprieve from the stress and busyness that is working and raising three littles. We had time to think, smile and space to dream again. I also had the pleasure of reading Jessica Honegger’s book, Imperfect Courage on our plan ride home. It tells of her journey to trust in God and as the earthly despite their circumstances. She encouraged her readers to think of the passions and things they have wanted in their lives but just haven’t been able/willing to do/ follow because of “life.” I pondered this and immediately thought of Trav and my dream long ago when we had first married to “have a couple kids, adopt a couple kids.” Prior to this moment I felt that perhaps if this was something we were supposed to do than we would have A) a lot more money than we do now to help fund this dream (HA!) and B) a prompting by God prior to our mutual decision to “be done” having children. It seems ironic that after our relaxed and first week long wonderful vacation from our children I found myself pining to find the last little that is supposed to be a part of our family.
While on this plane ride home I found myself crying and turning to Trav saying through my red stung eyes, “We’re supposed to adopt a little girl.” These emotional tears welled up from within in a moment I can only describe as a prompting from the Holy Spirit as I pictured a 2 year old girl joining our family. Trav was surprised to say the least as we had officially said we were done having children. Convinced I was just having an itch for another babe as with our three before he thought I just needed time to think while I knew he definitely needed some time to think. I began praying for clarity as certainly if we were to embark on something so different and so specific he would need to be on board 100%. Having your own bio children can be a challenge on its own and adopting, well it feels very daunting and foreign and I want to make sure our marriage remains as strong and healthy as possible.
We began praying and checking in weekly as I wanted to be sure this plan was going to be mutual. Travis might say I checked in more than weekly as honestly it soon started to consume my thoughts and prayers so much it’s hard not to talk about it. We shared this prompting with a few friends/family and asked for prayer in the month that followed.
I feel like the biggest confirmation that this was something from God came the night I shared these dreams of ours with some friends. Earlier that day, prior to work I had my morning yoga class after which per my normal routine I stayed to relax and meditate, clearing my mind and asking God to make known to me the one attribute I could carry with me through the day. Usually the thing that pops into my mind are a single word or thought such as joy, love, patience, kindness, self control etc. (Patience often landing on the heels of an unfortunate outburst of mine toward Trav or the children from the night prior. HA!) Those are the only words that have come to me, but that morning I clearly saw not just a word but a name, “Angie” in my mind. I could not think of an Angie that I knew or could even remember at that time. I typically don’t share my personal prayer meditations but I felt I had to share it with Trav that morning as it seemed so bizarre. I went on with my day and happened to have my monthly happy hour with my dear friends after work downtown that evening. I shared our adoption plans with these friends and the process began to seem more real and exciting, but I still wasn’t even sure which agency to use. I had already begun researching Bethany Christian Services but that night I was given the recommendation to check out Holt. Before I went to bed that evening I typed Holt into my browser to make sure I wouldn’t forget. I paused even though it was after 11pm to just see where the Oregon branch was located. I scrolled down and low and behold the name of the director of the Oregon branch was “Angie” not Angela, Angie. I told Trav and we were both very convinced that this is who we’re supposed to use for this process. I haven’t really had a time in my life where I felt God has spoken to me so clearly before. In my youth I feel like I used the Christian jargon of “I feel led by God” or “this is God’s plan” and I truly thought I believed it, but there was that nagging feeling of but maybe it’s just a coincidence? Not this time... I can’t imagine a more peculiar coincidence if I tried. Quite honestly after losing my mother a few years ago, I thought how do we really know that there is a plan and that life is not just happenstance... doesn’t the “plan” just change according to the choices we make and the roses or sh$t that turns up afterwards? It is hard to know and I don’t think we’ll ever really comprehend this life fully, but I do know 100% that God directed this particular minute detail so I could be assure that this was His plan and I am doing everything I can to see what will come. I am excited and anxious, scared and terrified, but I have complete peace that this is what God has for our family and I can honestly say that without feeling it is only a cliché. I believe it with my body and soul.
We truly need your prayers and support as we begin this journey. We have decided on international versus domestic adoption and so now we are trying to choose which country. We are prayerfully considering Thailand, China and Korea at this time. I know there is a specific little girl for our family, now we just need to find her!
We have completed the initial interview and so the next step in the financial side of this endeavor is to come up with the $2,500 to complete the home study visit. So let’s do this! Thanks for taking the time to read and follow this journey to bringing our little girl home. We are one step closer to adding another to this crazy brood!
If you want to help beyond prayer with financial support, you can here:
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